How to Deal with Anger as a Catholic: A Guide from Scripture and the Saints
Anger is one of the seven deadly sins when left unchecked, but it can also be a righteous emotion when properly directed. As Catholics, we are called to imitate Christ, who showed anger against sin but never allowed it to consume Him. This article explores what the Bible, Church teachings, and the wisdom of the saints teach about managing anger in a holy and virtuous way. 1. Understanding Anger: When Is It Sinful? The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2302) teaches: “If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin. Anger is a desire for revenge. ‘To desire vengeance in order to do evil to someone who should be punished is illicit.’ But it is praiseworthy to impose restitution to correct vices and maintain justice.” This means anger is not always sinful—it depends on its cause and how we react. Righteous Anger vs. Sinful Anger 🔹 Righteous Anger: When Jesus overturned the tables in the Temple (John 2:13-17), He was angered by sin and disrespect toward God. This anger was controlled and directed at restoring holiness.🔹 Sinful Anger: When Cain was angry at Abel (Genesis 4:3-8), he let his wrath turn into envy and murder. Saint Francis de Sales, known for his patience, taught: “There is nothing so strong as gentleness, and nothing so gentle as true strength.” We must learn to master our anger rather than let it master us. 2. What Does the Bible Say About Controlling Anger? Scripture provides clear advice on how to handle anger: ✅ “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26) – It’s okay to feel anger, but we must not let it fester.✅ “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) – Gentleness calms conflict.✅ “Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19) – We must practice patience before reacting. Jesus’ Example of Dealing with Anger When insulted, He remained silent (Matthew 26:63). When wronged, He forgave (Luke 23:34). When seeing injustice, He acted with love, not hatred (Mark 3:5). 3. Practical Ways to Overcome Anger 1. Pause Before Reacting Saint Philip Neri advised, “The best remedy for anger is silence.” If something upsets you, take a moment to pray before responding. 2. Offer Up Your Anger to God Turn your frustration into a prayer:“Lord, I offer You my anger. Purify my heart so that I may respond with love instead of wrath. Help me to be patient and kind, even when I feel wronged.” 3. Practice Humility Pride fuels anger. Saint John Vianney said, “If a tiny spark of anger arises, do not let it grow. Strangle it while it is still small.” Humility allows us to let go of offenses. 4. Forgive as Christ Forgave Jesus told us: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6:27) Holding onto anger poisons the soul. Forgiveness brings freedom. 5. Seek the Sacraments Confession: Anger is often linked to pride, envy, or resentment. Confession helps cleanse these. Eucharist: The grace from receiving Jesus strengthens us to love as He loves. 4. Powerful Prayers to Overcome Anger Prayer for Patience and Self-Control “Heavenly Father, I struggle with anger. Give me the grace to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Teach me to love as You love, to be patient as You are patient. Help me to reflect Christ’s peace in my words and actions. Amen.” Prayer of Saint Francis (for Inner Peace) *”Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;Where there is hatred, let me sow love;Where there is injury, pardon;Where there is doubt, faith;Where there is despair, hope;Where there is darkness, light;And where there is sadness, joy.O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seekTo be consoled as to console,To be understood as to understand,To be loved as to love.For it is in giving that we receive,It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life , Amen.” 5. Wisdom from the Saints on Overcoming Anger 1. Saint Francis de Sales – The Gentle Saint Saint Francis de Sales was known for his calm temperament, but he struggled with anger in his youth. Through prayer and self-discipline, he became one of the most patient saints. He advised: “A spoonful of honey attracts more flies than a barrel of vinegar.” This means kindness and patience are more powerful than anger in resolving conflicts. 2. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux – Turning Irritation into Love Saint Thérèse struggled with a sister in her convent who constantly annoyed her. Instead of reacting with frustration, she made small acts of love toward her. Over time, her heart changed, and she found peace. She wrote: “It is not enough to tolerate people; we must learn to love them.” This teaches us that patience and humility help transform anger into love. 3. Saint Augustine – Conquering Anger with Charity Saint Augustine, once a man of deep passions, warned: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Holding onto anger only harms us. Instead, we should forgive and let God handle justice. 6. Steps to Take When You Feel Anger Rising 1. Pray Immediately Before reacting, whisper: “Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.” 2. Count to 10 or Walk Away Give yourself time to calm down before speaking or acting rashly. 3. Examine the Root of Your Anger Ask yourself: Am I angry because of pride? Am I seeking justice or revenge? How would Christ respond in this situation? 4. Offer a Small Act of Kindness Overcoming anger is not just about suppressing it—it’s about replacing it with love. Try: Saying a kind word to the person who upset you. Praying for them. Offering up your frustration for the salvation of souls. 7….